The last three months....

What happened ? What happened? I constantly ask myself this question. The answers don't often come easy, at least for questions that I myself don't seem to have a clue why am I asking them! Why did I stop writing for the last few months...busy is a convenient excuse. I've always used this excuse, without fail actually. The more I use it, the more it became part of me, nicely integrated into me.

It was not an easy year to start with and I have been very stressful at work, trying to figure out if I am doing things right. It has obviously affected my relationship with someone dear. I felt bad that I am not able to reciprocate at all.

That't the bad me... I love freedom and new things, adventure and even new people so much that I tend to neglect the old. Perhaps this is the sign that I should not be owning anything in life, it makes complete sense now when I ponder upon the title of this blog, its called The Leased Life, so nothing is mine.

Few charismatic characters appeared in my life the last few months. March 17th...I met him, a political and head of state...I'll love to share more about the development between us but due to confidentiality I'll not mentioned anything here.

The other one new friend I met was couple of weeks ago, a senior writer at an investment bank... my first date with a Ang Moh.... literally first. Never have I set eyes on any Ang Moh before and strangely the Ang Moh never pick me up too. I figured that they like tanned girls like the thais, Filipinos and Indonesian girls. I have often question the taste of Ang Moh... coz some really have very ugly looking girlfriends. Parson me but the GF look more like the maid .... perhaps they really are. Oppss!!

Anyway this Ang Moh guy which I am gonna refer him to as SK seems so different. He is not the typical stingy Ang Moh at all and its kinda fun to talk too and have a great sense of humor as well. I reckon we will be very good friends for the many years to come.....SK's works for a prestigious investment company that is very philanthropic too, at least that was what I figured out about a month ago. Something that tumbles the world of SK happened last Thurs...his big boss decided to close the entire communications department and he took it very hard saying that he has never been sacked before. I was quite helpless......

------------still waiting for him to get over this and start looking positively into the future. I've been sending him jobs opportunities and hope he can find one in SG....but I told myself that a man is most happen if he is able to be where his heart calls.... and he is considering Beirut. It wont be right for me to ask him to stay if he decided to explore a new place.....I'll be sad but also happy that a dear friend is able to follow his dreams and follow the callings....

Rin

So long... and a new Birkenstock

Is being busy really an excuse not to blog? The answer is a NO NO... I am perhaps affected by moods and other people's mood too. Anyway it's gonna be short but I promise I'll write more perhaps tonight.

Financial crisis has obviously set me back a little, no more Balenciaga Bags and stuff but it never really stopped me from dreaming I will have them again. But then I am still living my life without the material stuff. So life can be pretty simple...

So what have I indulge in so far ? Nothing much except some absolutely vital things like a Birkenstock for my flat feet :( . It wasn't the most glamorous thing to tell people that I have wide and flat feet that I could normally hide in my many pairs of high heels.

I started wearing Birkenstock about 3 years and ago and never look back since. It's comfortable and the designs are getting more fancy and cool by the days. My first pair is simple just with a Chili Red band and no other patterns. Too bad I am still trying to convince myself to wear the flowers / beads type. Perhaps one fine day.

There was a sale at Birkenstock Wheelock Place about 2 months ago...and I practically spent half an hour trying to choose the right pair. I fell in love with a dark purple pair but they don't have my size so I settle for a bright orange....Trigger My Happy Feet....

Emotional exchange....

Men is a so predictable isn't it. They are so driven by lust, animal instinct and a not committed attitude. Most women are aware of their famous traits and yet time and again we fell for the same old tricks. We fell for bad boys and we find the goody and nerdy man not interesting enough. We find them boring, not adventurous in every sense including the action in bedroom.

Why are we so intrigue by man who're full of sweet talks, knowing that they are practically lying with the eyes wide open and tongue hanging halfway accompanied by drooling saliva. Yes, these men are up to something... prey on our weaknesses, something that has not changed for eons, we love bad man. I suspect that perhaps this trails are coded in the female XX chromosome.

It has happened to me and I told myself I am not gonna let this happen again but stupidly I did it again, just like Britney Spears did. Before the "trip" he was loving and caring but after that he was cold and everything changed. It's so predictable right. But than it was one of the happier few days of my life.....

The good memories lingers on.... sometime when you see me having that sweet silly smile....that's when I think of the memories with P.....

Live band @ Pump Room Rocks

Clarke Quay never seems to be a name that rings a bell but then the other clubs are equally boring to me for the longest time. But occasionally I do enjoy the loud thundering musics performed by the live bands, be it local or foreign. Strangely, Singapore once had many Filipino bands but recently there was a switch to local bands... Are we adopting the GET SINGAPORE BRAND attitude.

Living the life of a post holiday blue in MEL and still in a dilemma I took up and invitation for dinner at PUMPED room, Clarke Quay. Food was good and price is quite affordable. I opted for a COD fish, my all time fav and a pine of wheat ale ( happy hour till 8pm ) you get one 4 one. Dinner is served and snap snap.... my colleague, blogger friend and food connoisseur was busy taking pictures as usual.

Starters is served and ta da..... my fav grilled baby octopus which reminds me of Greece. Oh man I long to go back there. I must say the company was quite good and the food is excellent too. I was told the live band is good but me being NOT a clubbing person was clueless about the latest band in town and who's who.

Well, moments and seconds between meals there were SMS exchanges between P and me... he was upset again. I tried cheering him up but then I asked myself at times, who am I do that. We are just colleagues and maybe "good" friend. An that's the excuse I gave myself to prevent me having any further emotions for P.

10.45pm..The band started playing... and this lead singer caught my attention. He/She or it.. seems to be always smiling and full of confident. That's the way to go man.... his voice is beautiful and full of character too. I enjoyed the night and stayed for 3 sets of the band's performance. Very unlike me but that I thought I was rather unpredictable at times....

Been there .... done that...

Four days ago, I hurriedly pen down a few words trying to describe how excited and thrilled I was being able to fly whenever I feel like flying and there I am checking into the airport. I have always reminded myself that the destination does not matter but the journey does. The feeling was obviously good while I was heading to the airport but deep in me I knew I am gonna have sort of a down and mix feeling when I get back and true enough. You know it is the feeling that the holiday is ending and there are no more fun. Truth be told the last few days wasn't really fun, perhaps I was trying to understand myself while trying to understand the other person who is almost a stranger to me....besides the fact that we share the same office, the same stress at work and a few other passion for life.. like coffee and cigar.

It was a carefree few days and I didn't really work although I did respond to e-mails but it wasn't that kinda work I usually do back home and I certainly felt guilty about it. Being uptight about life caused more harm than good and I swear by it.. at least proven on me. I get depressed for no apparent reason and at times the reason was why am I in this situation, why life is not good enough for me and why can't I find someone who truly care for me. Or perhaps i am just not contented with what I have now. Oh gosh, I am getting confused over this subject again. We are supposed to be contented but does that mean that we stop looking for better things in life because we are contented with what we have now?

I spent the last few days thinking over this matter of being contented while away having a break with that stranger. In fact, there were moments that I feel contented but then it did not last long. Soon we will be talking about material matters and all the very "human" subject again.

The few days were fun and like any other things in life, it has to come to an end. It was a dream from the beginning and certain things are never meant to be. Only we human beings made it happened because we are curious animal that are thrilled by excitements, I am extremely tried right now ....physically and emotionally and not knowing what I am getting myself into. I hope this is another dream within the dream...