Been there .... done that...

Four days ago, I hurriedly pen down a few words trying to describe how excited and thrilled I was being able to fly whenever I feel like flying and there I am checking into the airport. I have always reminded myself that the destination does not matter but the journey does. The feeling was obviously good while I was heading to the airport but deep in me I knew I am gonna have sort of a down and mix feeling when I get back and true enough. You know it is the feeling that the holiday is ending and there are no more fun. Truth be told the last few days wasn't really fun, perhaps I was trying to understand myself while trying to understand the other person who is almost a stranger to me....besides the fact that we share the same office, the same stress at work and a few other passion for life.. like coffee and cigar.

It was a carefree few days and I didn't really work although I did respond to e-mails but it wasn't that kinda work I usually do back home and I certainly felt guilty about it. Being uptight about life caused more harm than good and I swear by it.. at least proven on me. I get depressed for no apparent reason and at times the reason was why am I in this situation, why life is not good enough for me and why can't I find someone who truly care for me. Or perhaps i am just not contented with what I have now. Oh gosh, I am getting confused over this subject again. We are supposed to be contented but does that mean that we stop looking for better things in life because we are contented with what we have now?

I spent the last few days thinking over this matter of being contented while away having a break with that stranger. In fact, there were moments that I feel contented but then it did not last long. Soon we will be talking about material matters and all the very "human" subject again.

The few days were fun and like any other things in life, it has to come to an end. It was a dream from the beginning and certain things are never meant to be. Only we human beings made it happened because we are curious animal that are thrilled by excitements, I am extremely tried right now ....physically and emotionally and not knowing what I am getting myself into. I hope this is another dream within the dream...