Is it a destiny or a dream...?

25th Mar 2009, 11.29pm...

I felt so low..so very low ever since I came back from DILI...I had the most memorable and honored moments in DILI, supposed to be jumping with joy! How come I am not? Checking in at DILI airport was horrible, the SILK air counter closes 3 hours before flight. I remembered his guard dropped me at the hotel, only to find out that my colleagues have gone to the airport and expect me to make my way there.

I left his place with a heavy heart, not believing that I had such a good time with him...holding his firm hand throughout the journey, never felt any fear, in fact it was very comfortable minus the bumpy rides. Gave him a big hug and whisper in his ear " Do you love me?" and " Yes" was his answer. I told myself I only needed to hear that not knowing that I will be tormented with mixed feelings after that.

It's way past the boarding time, I sat quickly in the small lounge waiting for perhaps the only flight for that day, looking at the supposedly duty free stores which look like a grocery store. Well, it is already not too bad, at least it is operational compared to the other two shops which are vacant. Airport people, better buck up!!
Well, without further elaboration, I am sure you can figure out how small, boring and unsightly the airport lounge is...the only compliment is that it doesn't have flies ( you get that in Malaysia's LCCT ) and many people with their high pitch voices in different languages. Yes LCCT is a budget terminal and people always associate it with foreign workers and cheap people. Yeah they are right unfortunately.

I sat there, looking at him...and yes he was looking back at me, expressionless, never mind coz I remembered very clearly his charming smile. He stole my heart in many occasions, often smiling at me whenever he caught me admiring and looking at him. A few occasions it was so obvious....so obviously even the blind can feel the exchange of smiles and "feel" for each other, but is he for real?? I don't believe I am so lucky... who am I, what do I have? He is such a celebrity, I am not good enough, there is nothing in me......tell me about being positive... Geez I can never convince myself. But I often steal a moment to look back at the fairy tale...that's unexpected call from him.....

17th March 2009, 9.29pm...

I was enjoying a massage by Min, a Filipino lady recommended and arranged by a business partner. There are no proper spa, so I the massage was done in my hotel room. I am done with the front and now lay facing down on my stomach for min to do my shoulder. Min suggested I take out the shirt so that she can apply oil and I did as instructed, obediently like a student who hopes to be rewarded for following instructions. Ring Ring Ring... and there is this +670XXX XXXX number appeared on my phone. The first thing on my mind, must be some business associate we met during the afternoon. The voice then uttered a few words but the line was so bad, i could hardly hear anything..."Who are you" I asked.... I am "XXXX". What? Can you repeat please? I am so and so...

There is a silence which to me lasted a life time... I was speechless. and by the time my senses started working again, I was already talking to him....yes love his sexy, low voice.! We chatted and the said he will call me again tomorrow. It was like winning a lottery ticket, but I am over the cloud for the right reason of course.

I text him to say thanks for calling, an old fashion trick to continue the conversation... and it works. There were a few sms exchanges before it went silence again. That night was long, so long until I could wait for the sun to rise.

18th March 2009, 6:28:31 am
Ting.... and sms came in and it read " g'mornin! how was your nite? slept well? I fell asleep. saw your sms now. u may call if u can. j "

To be continue.....